When I was a little girl I loved the excitement of a roller coaster. My favorite were the big old fashion wooden ones. The shaky, creaky assent to the tippy top. The view that took my breathe away . The free fall down, that left my heart thumping and stomach in my toes. The turns and the ups and downs. I would try my hardest to keep my eyes wide open for I did not want to miss a thing. Sometimes fear would grip me and I would shut my eyes tight and scream loud. When my eyes remained open to all that I felt and saw, I would feel so alive and free. The moment would seem to go on forever even though it was mere minutes.
This can be like my life. I have a choice. Do I allow my heart to stay open even when it feels as if it might burst? Do I allow my life to pass me in a blur or slow it down by staying present? Can I remain in the moment even in the tension, the wonder, the messiness, the beauty and even the pain? Can I live fully into all that God has created me for?
In growing older I have allowed fear to overwhelm and overtake my senses. Today I am too afraid to step foot on any roller coaster. In my life I can do the same. I shut my eyes and heart tight and move quickly past the unpleasant, the ugly, the messy and the painful. The moments of bliss and wonder can even become hard to allow myself to deeply feel. Its all too scary. I feel way too vulnerable.
This is not what God intended for me or for anyone. We are all created to love openly and freely. To give and to receive the goodness that is from God and God alone. Our lives can become an outpouring of the love and grace we receive from our Heavenly Father if only we are able to open our eyes and hearts to Him. When we abide in Jesus we are able to live into the beauty of the moments and the people he places in our path. When circumstances and relationships become ugly or painful we will continue to see Jesus. He is in all the moments. We can free fall and He will catch us.
Lord, give me your eyes and heart for others. Break my heart for what breaks yours. Help me to not be afraid to live into all that you have created me for.
[Photo credit: Tobias Toft]