Thoughts of our daughter course through my day.
Often waking me in the night.
Is she safe, sad, alone, afraid, cold, hungry.
I wonder how old she is, who is caring for her, where she is living.
Grieving over all that I am missing.
All the gaps in her life I will never be able to fill.
The lost time that I can not retrieve.
The questions that will go unanswered.
Her first smile, first wobbly steps, first word.
I grieve, I cry out to Him.
In a still, sure voice, He reassures me.
“I see her.”
Knitting her together in the darkness of her mother’s womb.
Breathing life into her lungs, setting the cadence of her heart.
Her Life Witness.
Filling her gaps when all else is lacking.
Loving her, delighting in all her “firsts”.
Still I question. I am afraid. My faith wavering.
In the same sure voice, I hear Him.
“I see you.”
Your Life Witness.
Filling the gaps where you are lacking.
Lighting the darkness where your fear runs to first.
Not one detail of your life hidden from my view.
Fully exposed yet completely loved, delighted in.
It is the darkest before first light.
He comforts through the blackest night.
Glory rising, shining bright.
I see Him.
Awakening to His mercy.
Time standing still.
I see her.
Wonderstruck at first sight.
Arms open, stretching wide.
She sees me.
She draws near.
Gathering her, holding tight.
Dawn’s first light.
Witnessing, delighting in the “first” of many.
Our Creator, knitting together every detail.
If I say “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
Psalm 139:11-16 NIV
[Photo credit: Dave Shafer]