“Send me your light and your faithful care, let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell.”
Psalm 43:3 NIV
It is always the darkest before dawns first light. The waiting seems to have no end and at times my faith wavers and the darkness begins to permeate. I continue to push back the darkness, letting the truth of who God is and always has been illuminate one faith-filled step after another.
Our four year old loves coloring pictures of our home. He repeatedly draws our happy yellow house with big windows and a bright blue door. Home, it is the sweetest place. Yet right now for me, it feels bittersweet. There is a void that remains. A missing piece, a longing yet filled. I continue to have dreams of our future daughter, each one more vivid than the last. Each one revealing God’s graciousness in our waiting. Each one, leading me on, renewing my hope, giving me the strength to keep on going.
She is still so far from home. Even so, the dawn will break and we will welcome her with arms and hearts wide open. Her little life will light our world in ways we could not have anticipated. She will be our good and perfect gift from the Father of Lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:17)
Lord, give me a steady heart. One that has known your faithfulness and remembers your goodness. You are my steady, unwavering, never changing, Father of Lights. You illuminate my path, always leading me on, ever closer, to my one true and steady home, You, Lord Jesus.