He came into this world in a flurry, less than three hours after my first contraction. Wrestling wild, heart rate unstable, umbilical cord wrapped around his neck three times. He fit into the palm of my husband’s hand with spiked, jet black hair. A sparkle even then, in his sapphire eyes. One mamma’s heart growing one hundred times larger under his gaze.
Fast-forward five years, he is a flurry of endless energy and words, so many words. He is small for his age yet full of life and curiosity. He has a bold and colorful imagination, big smiles for everyone, shinning eyes and spiky golden hair. One can almost palpate his intense love for life and people.
He asked me recently while we were in the car driving, “Mommy, how do you know there is a God?”.
I was taken back for a moment, he seeming too young to ask this question. At the same time, I was not surprised. He is the one I have known would wrestle with questions more. It is in his nature as it is in mine. My questions and doubts coming much later, jaded with life’s hardships. His coming young, still pure and innocent.
I answered, “Buddy, I see God in everything. The sunrise, the birds song, all of creation. I see him in all the ways he takes care of us. He gave me, you. God is so good”.
His response simple, peace-filled, “Okay, Mommy”.
I breathe in, peace filling me. He is asking because He has a longing to know God.
My hope and fervent prayer for him and for each of my children is that this wrestling, this asking, be a lifelong pursuit.
For some, this pursuit may come as a gentle wave of understanding.
For others, it may overtake them after a wild wrestling with their own strong will.
Yet again, this awakening may come after a long laboring life, leaving one raw, aching for something more.
During this holiday season filled with a flurry of activity, with not enough time for rest, may we find moments to quiet our hearts.
When merry making and past pain collide, leaving a deep, lonely ache and no peace, may we deeply sense that God dwells with us.
Swaddled in mere rags, lying small in a manger, God gave us the greatest gift, Jesus.
His love reaching down for me, for you, for the whole of this wild, wrestling world.
Seeking after Him, we will find His gentle arms wide open, waiting.
Jesus, God with us. His Spirit dwelling in us. Here to quiet us with His love,
washing over us with waves of quiet peace.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8 NIV