“As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Joshua 1:5b NIV
I am a registered nurse on the pediatric oncology, hematology and bone marrow transplant unit. I have cared for those battling cancer for nearly half my life. I have literally grown up on the oncology unit. My perspective on life has been greatly impacted and my faith stretched by my experiences with my patients and their families.
Since having my first child ten years ago, I have worked every other weekend. Nursing is a pocket of my life that is small yet significant. It may take up only a small fraction of my days yet it holds my heart and it is where I see God most. I can feel His tangible presence.
For the last several years, I have had a running joke with God. I take the elevator several flights up to my unit each morning that I work. Each time the elevator is open before I push the button, I silently say to God, “Thank you for holding the door. You are such a gentleman”. I walk in, smile and I sigh, knowing He is with me.
Funny thing is, the last few months, EVERY SINGLE TIME I have arrived at the elevator it has been wide open. No one is anywhere around. I am alone. I walk in and I take a deep breath. The doors close and I close my eyes.
I pray, “You are with me, You go before me, You will never leave me.”
Again, I take a deep breath, smile to myself and I push the floor number. I take a few more deep breathes as the elevator goes up. The doors open and I step out onto my unit, ready for the unknown of my workday ahead.
You may say I am strong. Yet no, I am never strong on my own account. I am weak and God makes me strong.
You may call me brave. Yet no, I am mostly afraid. My patients and their families are the brave ones.
I am only humbled and honored to be a small part of their fight and their journey. I can only take the next step, continuing to walk through the doors that God opens, bringing the tangible presence of Jesus with me.
This short video testifies to the undeniable bravery and strength of all who have battled cancer. It also clearly points to the Creator and Sustainer of all life, our Hope and Healer, our Ever Present Help.
I am beginning to understand at a deeper level that God’s presence remains with me even at the end of my workday. As I step onto the elevator and the doors close, His tangible presence is still with me. He dwells in me.
He is with me in the unknown, the everyday and the mundane. In my home, my marriage, in raising and teaching my children. In and through our adoption journey and with our daughter in Bulgaria. He’s in my joy, my grief, my waiting.
He is with me in my brokenness and my struggles. In my relationships and in learning to love my neighbor better. He gives me all I need to take the next faith-filled step. He is my Ever Present Help. (Psalm 46:1 NIV)
I am called to open the doors of my heart, stepping out in faith. Bringing the tangible presence of Jesus into every nook and cranny, every pocket of my life.
God is with me.
He goes before me.
He will never leave me.
Are there any doors that God has opened for you? What is your next faith-filled step?
How are you bringing the tangible presence of Jesus into your everyday world?