“Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.”
Romans 4:20-21 NIV
For four long years, I waited for my husband. Four years of not dating and standing by each one of my close friends as one by one they found love and married. In this waiting, I filled journal after journal with prayer after prayer asking God to provide a husband for me. Seeking hard after His will, not my own. Drawing near to Jesus in this barren place. This place that many times felt uncertain and hopeless.
As time went on and the waiting continued, I began to find hope in this barren place. God was tangibly near. My prayers slowly changed to expectant prayers. I poured out my deep desires, my hopes and dreams, for my future husband. I began to pray for Him as if He were somewhere out there, also waiting for me.
With unwavering hope, I waited for the man God had chosen for me. Soon after Christmas, a few weeks after being yet another bridesmaid, I unexpectedly met my husband at a holiday dinner out with friends. It was winter break, smack dab in the middle of my last year of nursing school. I knew from our first meeting that God had brought someone special into my life.
I never wavered in my belief that He was indeed the man God had given me. While my husband is not perfect, He is my answer to prayer, immeasurably more than all I could have asked for or imagined. A year after our first date, God fulfilled this deep longing. On a chilly and crisp yet clear and sunny January afternoon, I married my best friend, the one who shares my hopes and dreams.
This season in my life parallels our adoption journey and I am remind that God is faithful and His plans are best. Nearly four years ago, we first opened our hearts to adoption.
We felt God clearly calling us to begin the tenacious journey to bring our daughter home.
Just as in the season of waiting for my husband, I have again filled journal after after journal. Praying expectant prayer after expectant prayer on behalf of our future daughter. Believing with unwavering hope that God has chosen her and in His perfect time, He will bring her home to us.
The waiting has been long and the journey hard yet my heart is grateful. In my heartache and longing, Jesus calls me deeper, drawing me closer to him. My faith has been strengthened in the waiting and my capacity to believe in His power and promises has grown.
Day after day, I will continue to pour out in prayer my dreams and deep desires for our daughter. Believing without wavering that God has the power to do immeasurably more than all I can ask or imagine. Being fully pursued that He will bring forth His hope and promise into this barren place.
“I will make rivers flow on barren heights, and springs within the valleys. I will turn the desert into pools of water, and the parched ground into springs. I will put in the desert the cedar and the acacia, the myrtle and the olive. I will set junipers in the wasteland, the fir and the cypress together, so that people may see and know, may consider and understand, that the hand of the LORD has done this, that the Holy One of Israel has created it.”
Isaiah 41:18-20 NIV
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory!”
Ephesians 3:20-21 NIV