Last Wednesday there was a surprise in our email inbox from our adoption agency that we were not expecting. The profile of a sweet little one with special needs needing a family. She seemed to be a good match for our family. We asked for more information on her health and history and it all seemed promising.
We decided to have a international adoption doctor at our local pediatric hospital look over her records, pictures and a short video. This being a big step as it is a costly exam. Even so, we felt confident that this doctor’s experience and input would be invaluable to our ultimate decision.
The remainder of last week and through the weekend we waited with some fear but mainly hopeful anticipation and we did our best to surrender it all to Him. We were becoming quite attached to this lovely, precious child.
On Monday, early morning we received a very detailed report from the doctor and after reading it over both Robert and I felt certain what our decision needed to be. The doctor had seen much more than we were able to see. Her health challenges far greater than what we felt our family is capable of caring for, in light of our current and future limitations and obligations.
With heavy hearts, torn in two, we decided not to move forward in pursuing the adoption of this beautiful child. I felt so burdened by this and spent most of the morning crying off and on. My four children being extra sweet and loving. My 2 year old asking throughout the day, “Hug, mama. Kiss, mama”. This, healing balm to a mama’s heart.
God impressed on my heart that it was okay to grieve but that it was not my burden to carry. It is His and He will care for His child. I am trusting that there is a wonderful family for this little one. A family that has a heart for her challenges and the resources needed to help her reach her full potential. Her sweet face will remain imprinted on my heart always and I will continue to intercede through prayer on her behalf.
I am also trusting that our daughter is still waiting under the protective wings of our Heavenly Father and in due time He will make her known to us. That He is working all things for Her good and for our families good.
We are pressing on, working toward competing all the steps and paperwork needed to summit our dossier to Bulgaria. Currently waiting for our passports and our approval from immigration (I800a form). We expect this to take about 4-6 weeks. After receiving these documents we can then compile all of the required paperwork and off it will go to Bulgaria.
After a 45 day waiting period, we will hopefully receive an acceptance to adopt from Bulgaria. We will then begin our wait for a referral. This process taking 12-24 months on average. If we decided to pursue a waiting child (one with special needs, ready and waiting for adoption) this process can happen much quicker. We are waiting and trusting that He will reveal His perfect plan for us.
We are so grateful for the overwhelming support and prayers we have received. We ask that you would continue to cover our family with prayer. We see God working in amazing ways, providing above and beyond all that we can imagine. Our faith and love for Jesus growing in leaps and bounds through this process.
Even so, at times we are pulled down by fear and discouragement. A cloud of despair, heavy and dark. The voice of the “accuser”, loud and convincing. Blocking our vision. His Truth, barely audible. Never before experiencing such heavy spiritual warfare.
We ask for your prayers regarding His peace, wisdom and guidance. For His Truth to shine brighter. His great love to permeate the darkness, the lies. For His protection, provisions and His perfect timing on behalf of our adopted daughter and our family.
Also please prayer for the little one who touch our lives for only a few short days but has impacted our hearts for eternity. By God’s mighty power, may she be placed in the care of a loving adoptive family. Until this time, may his loving arms embrace and protect her.
I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.
John 14:18 NIV
Love will bring her home.
In love and grace,
P.S. If you have more specific questions about our adoption process please by all means, email me. I love to share my heart and passion for orphans and international adoption. Also if you would like to receive updates via email please subscribe here. If you have already, thank you for your support.