A Spoken Word Poem entitled, “The Esther Generation” by Amena Brown Owen and Ann Voskamp at the If Gathering in Austin, Texas.
Faith
Breaking Through
It has been almost thirteen years now since a small seed was planted. After years of taking root, burrowing deep and spreading wide, my heart has cracked wide open. God’s love has seeped in and I am powerless to ignore the constant ache and undercurrent that can no longer remain buried nor contained.
It all started with one short visit to an orphanage in Ukraine. I brought shiny stickers to share and I witnessed pure joy from something so small. I held hands and little arms entangled my waist and legs. We spoke different languages although their eyes told me much more than I wanted to know. They proudly lead me to the cold, bare and hard spaces where they played and slept. We danced, jumped and laughed. Their bright smiles yet desperate, hungry eyes are forever imprinted in my memory. The ache I felt when saying goodbye, their small arms wildly reaching and waving, I can not shake. I did not want to leave. When we drove away and I could not stop crying.
I Am the Lucky One [Printable]
I am passionate, determined and known to take the road less traveled. These are my strengths in Jesus but they have been my greatest weaknesses. These weaknesses have come in the form of stubbornness, selfishness, fierce independence and rebellion. I gave my heart to Jesus at the early age of four. My love for Him was innocent and genuine. Even so, I had a lot to learn and surrendering my life to Him would be a long time coming. I would have to learn many lessons the hard way.
A Poured Out Life
I have cared for cancer patients for almost seventeen years. I felt called to nursing at the age of nineteen and by twenty-one, I was working on an adult oncology unit as a nursing assistant. I had very little life experience and even less faith in God. I was not equipped nor prepared for the ways in which God would stretch me and how he would use me. My faith grew because God continued to show up when I was at the end of all that I knew.
Living Water
How thankful I am for the rain we received this last week. To watch as it came down and soaked our parched, dry earth. It has been too long. This reminded me of how I can begin to feel at times. Thirsty and near empty with nothing left to give.
Our Great Provider
My husband likes to joke with me that I have a direct line to God when I need or want something. I need only to say it out loud and through someone else’s generosity God provides. This has happened on more occasions than I can count. One example, a few months ago I said to my husband, “Wouldn’t it be nice to have a picnic table for the backyard”. Before I had the chance to look for one on Craigslist or anywhere else, someone asked us if we could use a picnic table. With a sideways glance and a slight smile to my husband, I said “Yes, we would love one!” and inwardly I praised God for this gift. Many times a neighbor has brought over a bag of fresh fruit or veggies when we had just ran out. When we are most in need of clothing, a friend or family member shows up with bags of hand-me-downs. When money is short my husband is offered a side job and the amount he makes is how much we were short.
Making Room
When I was pregnant with our second child I had my doubts on whither I had enough room in my heart for another child. Could I love another child as much as I loved my daughter? When my son was born, the instant I held him close, I felt my heart growing. My love was new and complete for this precious child that God had given me. With my third and fourth child I felt exactly the same. It was like a new addition was added on to my heart each time and there was always plenty of room.
Taking the Leap
How will we RESPOND?
How will our family take a LEAP of faith?
After years of talking about it, months of praying and many sleepless nights my husband and I both feel compelled to respond. As a family we are taking the leap and moving forward to pursue adoption. We feel that God is calling us to begin this journey and we desire to obey this call.
![I Am the Lucky One [Printable]](https://i0.wp.com/www.magnoliaheart.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/printable_i_am_the_lucky_one_square.jpg?fit=500%2C500&ssl=1&resize=40%2C40){kind=small}