“The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.” Helen Keller
Until now, I’ve never felt like it was my place to tell my husband, Robert’s story. He see’s the world differently than me, different from most of us. Yet, what he see’s and does not see effects how I see. It has changed the way I view life, circumstances and people. It has framed the way our children have learned to see from birth. His story is part of mine, part of the fabric of our family.
More than eighteen years ago, on our very first date, what I saw was a man who was not afraid to be himself. He was funny, lighthearted and easy to be with. I saw him as someone whom I connected deeply with. Someone who helped me forget about my woes and worries and just laugh. Someone who looked beyond my flaws and brokenness and saw my heart as beautiful. Someone whom I saw as beautiful. This someone, was the one I had waited and prayed for. The one I knew that I loved. This was and still is enough for me.
On our first date, the two of us walked together on a nearby city street. I recall that it was then that he told me that he saw only a fraction of what I saw. He was already blind at night and his eye sight would continue to get worse. I remember feeling scared but also relieved. This was no life sentence, he was not a ticking time bomb. Even without his sight, he would still be the man I was falling head over heels for. I knew with an unwavering certainty that this would not be his journey to take alone. From that point forward, it was our journey of faith to walk together.
Fast forward to eight years ago, his eye sight was at the point where he was considered legally blind which is about twenty percent field of vision. With only a few months to go before we welcomed our fourth child into the world, he chose to stop driving. This adding a layer of challenge to our life, resting the sole responsibility of driving our growing crew on me. This was no easy decision. He loved to drive. Loved the wide open road, a lazy Sunday drive, a tree lined street, a curvy mountain adventure. He gave up this love for a greater love—for the safety and protection of his family.
Now today, eight years later, his eye sight continues to diminish. His field of vision now less than ten percent. You may wonder what his and our family’s future holds, the outlook may seem bleak. You may feel pity but please don’t. There is nothing in our story that should evoke even a twinge of pity. Yes, our road has not been an easy one. Our journey has had its road bumps but we are all the more stronger for them. Our vision and faith expanding with each passing year. I am not going to tell you that I am not scared. At times, I am overwhelmed by the weight of it all yet I know that we are not on this journey alone. We have someone much greater walking with us, providing richly in every way and paving the way for a future bright with possibility and beauty. Nothing is impossible with our God.
In November, our family will be expanding yet again. We will be welcoming a new member into our family. One who will be a great assist and constant companion to Robert and a joy to everyone in our family. Robert will be spending two weeks away preparing for this transition. By Thanksgiving our new friend will be home with us!!
Robert has spent the last 8 years depending on the aid of a cane. Using it on dark walks on his early morning commute to work, traversing through crowds and unfamiliar streets. In November, he will have a living, breathing, faithful guide to walk beside him and be his eyes, to see what he can not. As this time approaches we feel some apprehension but also so much relief and gratitude. The uncertainty in Robert’s future feels less daunting, our new friend bringing with them, security and greater independence.
In Robert’s life, he has faced many challenges. I have always been inspired by his faith, resilience, courage and humor in the face of the dark unknown. I believe God has and will continue to use him and our family in mighty ways for His Kingdom. For our family, this means taking each step as it comes, no matter how dark the path may seem, knowing that not once have we ever walked alone.
Here Robert begins to tell the story of taking the first uncertain step into a new chapter. His story is still unfolding and we invite you to subscribe and follow along.
“For we live by faith, not by sight.” 2 Corinthians 5:7 NIV
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”” Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV
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